Oscars Live Blog

And I’m out. They only ran 30 minutes over this year.

Alec Baldwin just quasi-slapped Katherine Bigelow on the ass. That is awesome.

I like the three actors swaying in the background.  They are truely excited.

Of course the Hurt Locker wins. This movie is the worst grossing movie to win an oscar. I can only assume it was awesome.

I think we can just assume The Hurt Locker won Best Picture. This is a nice speech.

Allison is excited that James Cameron lost Best Director because he is a dick.  Katherine Bigelow is hot according to Allison. I pretty much concur. She could tone those arms a touch.

What the heck is Barbara Streisand wearing? I do not need to see old lady cleavage. Allison is right, her hair looks good but her body does not.

Allison is crying again, The Meryl Streep lover stuff was awesome

Oh, a nice move giving the other nominees props.

Sandra Bullock in the Blide Side wins. Yes, that was Jesse James crying. You may have just witnessed the curing of cancer. Someone go bottle that man’s tears. Bullock will likely be super awesome in her speech.

I would like to just insert here that Sean Penn should have won for I Am Sam all those years ago.

Stanley Tucci is a BAMF. You can see why he had good chemistry with her. You can see it right now. And a good toast thing by him.

Oprah is looking ok. I thought I had read she gained weight, but she looks fine to me and I don’t even like her.

Of course Oprah is up there for the best actress toast things. Stanley Tucci is probably going to talk about Meryl Streep in the Devil Wears Prada and Julie and Julia.

Jeff Bridges probably deserved it, but I was rooting for the guy from the hurt locker. He’s been good in other smaller parts and after 20 years he probably deserved it.

I’m not sure I liked the little toasts, but at least Colin Farrell’s was heartfelt.

Why isn’t Pedro Almodovar, the native spanish speaker saying the names of these movies? Quentin Tarantino makes them sound like a calf being slaughtered in a Ya Ya sisterhood convention.

Quentin Tarrantino is a tool. Pedro Almodovar is awesome.

Keanu Reeves has one of the worst beards I’ve ever seen. I could grow a better patchy beard than that.

In light of The Cove winning, Allison remarked “and everyone puts I heart whales stickers on their cars.”

All these documentaries look good. Maybe I’m just a sucker for the documentary.

George Clooney’s stonefaced schtick is getting old. It was funny like 2 hours ago.

Avatar wins for visual effects. Not a surprise. I was hoping for Star Trek just because it was such a badass movie.

Up wins again. Sweet.

James Taylor is also a tool. This Oscars is setting a record for most tools on an awards show. Allison thought she wouldn’t cry due to James Taylor’s presence, but now she’s practically bawling.

Allison on Demi Moore: what does she look like, not her age, oh zing!

Avatar wins for cinematography. What else could it have been really?

Quentin Tarantino is also a tool.

Something nested in Zach Efron’s hair. I think it might be a California Gnatcatcher.

I’ve previously said this, but Zach Efron is a damn tool.

Some of these movies weren’t realy horror movies. Namely Alien and the Sixth Sense.

The Twilight chick looks decent. Taylor Lautner is nothing but beef. I also keep hoping he will turn into a werewolf.

More Steve and Alec. They are doing an OK job.

That is a wacky dress on that lady that won for costume design.

Art Direction. I only care if Avatar wins because it was pretty innovative in the art and world they created.

Monique gave an OK speech. Allison: Oh hey Colin Firth.

I didn’t guess in this category, but I did get Star Trek and Up right.

Monique won. Allison is 1 for 1.

Allison is predicting Monique.

Allison predicts against Penelope because she won last year.

Robin Williams looks like hell. A ball joke, not really so original. Ok, here comes best supporting actress.

The Queen (Latifah) looks fantastic. Oh wow Lauren Bacall is old, but still looks pretty good considering she’s ancient.

Star Trek won best makeup. I have to say it was really well done. There is a featurette on the DVD about how they did it and how it took literally months to get the Spock ears to look right.

Ben Stiller is dressed like a Na’vi from Avatar. This is kind of awesome.

I bet these shorts would be good, if only we could watch them.

Steve Jobs is at the Academy Awards according to MacRumors. Also in case you missed it, the first iPad commercial came on a few commercial breaks ago.

Now another award we don’t care so much about. Actually I think these all look neat, but how does one find an watch a documentary short.

Now time for an award nobody cares about – animated short. Time for a pee break.

For some reason I didn’t connect the name Ed Asner with the actor. For a good time, google his name and watch the live twitter/blog feed roll by.

Why does Samuel L Jackson always yell? Why is he presenting Up instead of one of the miltary movies? Allison is crying 10 seconds into the trailer.

Nice tribute to John Hughes.

Oh look, it’s Molly Ringwald.  She looks almost the same as her character in the Breakfast Club. Ferris Bueller isn’t looking so great. He’s greying, but not well.

The Hurt Locker wins its first Oscar for best Original Screenplay. Good on ‘em, although has anyone actually see in?

What on earth is Robert Downy Junior wearing? He and Tina Fey are pretty funny.

Crazy Heart wins for best song. It was a good song and T.Bone is a badass.

Is it a rule Randy Newman has to nominated for best song every year?

Amanda Seyfreid is wearing a strange dress. As stated before, Miley Cyrus looks like she fake baked and is wearing a slip.

Best Animated Feature: Up. This means they won’t win best feature film. Sorry guys, but at least you were nominated.

The dude from Inglorious Bastards won for best supporting actor. We feel bad for Matt Damon. Quote of the moment “Oscar and Penelope that’s an uber bingo.”

Allison actually shuddered when they cut from Matt Damon to Woody Harrelson. I did as well, only on the inside. He’s rough looking for sure.

Penelope Cruz looks nice. She also had a dream where we were cats . . .

Again, Sandra Bullock looks nice. Ad she’s the only one that’s really genuinely laughed at a joke made at her expense.

Allison is laughing her bum off. . .

Woody Harrelson looks kind of OK. The high comment might actually be true.

The threesome joke so far has been the best. Another jab at Streep, but this time it’s hilarious.

Alec and Steve are doing ok so far, not super funny, but a few good jokes.

Wow, a little harsh on Meryl.

Neil Patrick Harris? Awesome. I need a suit like that.

That wasn’t Martin Scorcese behind J.Lo, that was Robin Williams. That dude looks like hell.

What the eff is this beginning? I know who is nominated and we already saw most of them. Sandra Bullock looks good.

OK, we’re getting serious now, the Oscars are going to begin.

Allison says Meryl Steep looks nice.I think her dress is kinda weird.

Taylor Lautner looks awkward. His hair is stupid too. He should have come dressed as a werewolf. Also, it’s a tux, not a suit.

Allison and I agree Kate Winslet looks good. Allison thinks she is beautiful.

Is Jeff Bridges wasted? His wife looks nice as does he except for the ridiculous goatee.

Miley Cyrus also fake baked. She looks like she forgot to put her dress on. Slips are not appropriate for the Oscars.

Tina Fey and Steve Carrell are funny. Too bad their new movie will probably not be.

Cameron Diaz actually looks OK. I like it [Allison]

Sarah Jessica Parker is wearing croissants on her head. We’re not sure where her hair went.

J. Lo’s dress has a train so there’s a place for her ass. Damn [at J. Lo's ass as she turned around].

While they talk about the current nominees for best picture, does Avatar really have a chance? Also, if The Hurt Locker wins, shouldn’t the Oscar go to a movie that people have seen?

What the heck is Kathy Ireland doing there? Also, Morgan Freeman is a player, but chewing gum on the red carpet is lame.

Zach Effron is a tool. He totally fake baked and you can tell. Also, his hair is stupid.

I’m doing things a bit differently this year. Gone are the timestamps. Instead you’ll just get stream of consciousness  as things happen. Allison is here and her two cents will be added in italics so you can tell us apart. I had to do some shopping, so there is no extended red carpet coverage (sorry!). This is going from bottom up  if you want to keep current (meaning the top is most recent).